Many thanks to Graeme Reid for the masthead drawing & design - © 2005 (

The Commissar

Chapter by chapter - Book covers - Other languages - Quotes

Introduction to The Commissar

Probably the least impressive of all Sven's books The Commissar doesn't even appear to have been published in Denmark. There's plenty of stories from Porta and Gregor Martin though and there's more scheming and black marketeering from Wolf.

The story seems to be a bit of a lift from "Kelly's Heroes". Never mind, the other books are all works of genius so that's OK.

"Dedicated to my old friend, the Scandinavian film producer Just Betzer who has thrown himself enthusiastically into the filming of my books." Hmm. Seems to have lost his enthusiasm somewhere along the line.…

The Commissar chapter by chapter:

1. Panzer Attack
Tank battle. Visit to vodka distillery. Confusion during regimental inspection - the general cannot understand that Albert is black. Tiny and Porta get hold of suckling pigs.

2. The Fat Leutnant
Company sent to "rest" behind front lines. Tiny describes his bike ride through Hamburg. More recipes from Porta. Trouble with the fat leutnant. Booby trapped safe. Discussion about religion. Porta goes hunting for a pig.

3. Vera Konstantinovna
Description of the Old Man. Army HQ orders that Albert should be scrubbed white. Bust up between Albert and Julius Heide. Porta cooks Pork Chops à l'Alba. Grave digging duty. Old Man and Barcelona go on leave. Gregor leaves the section to be driver and bodyguard for his famous general again. Porta continues his affair with Vera Konstantinovna (The Commissar's wife). Negotiations begin to recover the gold which her husband has hidden. Porta visits Wolf to conclude plans for "Operation Riches". Oberfeldwebel "His Excellency, War Minister" Sally flies to Russia to join the fun. Porta tells the story of Tiny and "Kurt The Nark" in Hamburg.

4. The Burial of Gregor's General
Everyone returns from leave. Gregor returns to the section and tells the story of his general's funeral. Description of the Finnish grenade game. Heide gets a letter from his Gauleiter. Tiny gets a letter from his sister, Emilia Louise. Start of operation behind the Russian lines.

5. Meeting With The Commissar
Mission continues. Porta tells the long story of General Rottweiler. First meeting with The Commissar. Everyone has a party to celebrate the Russian Christmas. Lots of drinking.

6. The Paritip
Trip to pick up the Russian gold continues in icy weather. Description of cold - and Russian remedies. Tiny gets cross and has to be subdued by the Old Man. Porta tells the story of Alois Fresa who was too tired to fuck. Tiny drinks two litres of vodka and tries to take revenge on the old man. Attack by Siberian ski troops. Tiny's escapade to stop them. Description of revine crossing using the Paritip.

7. The Mad OGPU Captain
Porta wrecks a Russian village with his tank. Mad OGPU captain makes a last stand. Everyone eats lots of Bortsch-kvop. Porta fills the tank with supplies.

8. The Vladimir Prison
Raid on prison using gas. Porta's attempts at safe-breaking. Fight between Heide and Tiny. Journey home from the prison. Description of air raid on Russian town. Description of phosphorus. Effects of "quick clay". Parting of ways with The Commissar and his Russian colleagues. Back to the German lines. Capture of a Russian Major-General. Visit to Helena's Brothel. Chief Mechanic Wolf and War Minister Sally arrive looking for the gold. Porta's next big money making plan.

The Commissar book covers

(Click links to view)
French cover for Le Commissaire
English cover for The Commissar (Corgi)
Finnish cover for Komissaari
Swedish cover for Kommissarien
English cover for The Commissar

The Commissar in other languages

Danish:xFrench:Le commissaire
Spanish:El ComisarioRomanian:Comisarul

Selected quotes from The Commissar

Quotes to be added shortly

Home - Books - Biography - Characters - Email - Mailing List - Copyright Notice